DERIC LEWIS: “3 Signs You Have A Strong Personality That Might Scare Some People”

Have you ever encountered someone with a powerful, independent personality? Did you feel like it was off putting, like the person might be hard to like? Chances are you simply didn’t understand the kind of person you were interacting with. Often times, these types of people can come off as aggressive, rude, overly opinionated or just plain bitchy. Chances are it feels like they are trying to dominate you, or make you feel insignificant. In actuality, nothing could be further from the truth. .

Dominant, aggressive, rude, arrogant. These descriptors actually do not typify a person with a powerful, independent personality at all. In fact, strong people are often some of the biggest teddy bears, and emotionally available people you will ever have the chance to meet once you make a genuine effort to get to know them. It’s just that people with strong personalities tend to give the meeker, more mild of us a bad rap.

Those people with strong personalities do not have to win, nor do they want to necessarily. It’s not about being better than anyone else. They typically just are not willing to let other people walk all over them, or put up with being used and abused.

Sure, sometimes strong people might be intimidating to you. But that is only as a result of you noticing their outward manifestation of their inner self confidence, and lack of need to seek validation from their peers. Do you have a powerful personality? Here are eight signs that you have a strong personality that might scare some people.

You Are Cautious, Maybe Even Picky About Who You Let Into Your Life

As a person with a strong personality, you do not rely on other people to define who you are, or what you are capable of. You recognize that some people need to put others down to make themselves feel better. Here’s the thing about being picky: it forces you to have high self-esteem and you build a great connection with your own self: you build your own voice of what you want and what works for you. Its not that you don’t necessarily get along with people, its just that you know exactly what you want in your relationships and social exchanges, and you aren’t willing to settle for less.

Even if you are still trying to discover your own identity, you know that you do not need a significant other, boss, best friend or family member to tell you what you’re capable of, or how to accomplish your goals.

You Can’t Stand Trivial Conversations

Conversations about the weather, and trivialities are often unbearable, and uncomfortable. If you have a powerful personality, you probably spend a lot of time thinking deeply, and have a lot of ideas to share. You do not want to waste time talking about things that in the long run don’t really matter all that much, when you could be spending your energy changing the world.

You might feel like you are bad at small talk. But that is not true. Anyone can make small talk. You are simply uncomfortable with meaningless pleasantries. Unfortunately, our culture has deemed small talk a social necessity. Wikipedia even goes so far as to describe it as a “social lubricant”, which makes it sound a whole lot more fun than it actually is. Small talk is meant to be light and fun. It flees from depth and meaning. Personal questions are considered inappropriate. Likewise, any emotion besides happy or neutral is discouraged. Consequently, authenticity dies on the vine. The truth is that small talk allows two people to have an entire conversation without really getting to know each other. Instead of being light and fun, the conversation is flat and boring. It is like a game of chess where both players always know each other’s next move. It is a predictable exchange, with predictable results. For people with a powerful personality, it is one of those annoying hurdles we must cross to get to the good stuff.

You Are Irked by Insensitivity, Idiocy or Willful Ignorance

Strong personalities are the result of being thoughtful and well-informed, as well as being confident in their mental prowess.

TAMARA PEARSON: “13 Reasons Why We Hate Television”

It’s not very meaningful

Television won’t bring you any of the change you want in your life or in the world. The Alternative Daily CEO Jake Carney commented that when he started this website, he didn’t turn a TV on for two years.

It promotes lazy thought

Television shows and advertising are aimed at the lowest common denominator. They recycle tired plot formulas that oversimplify characters, problems and the big issues. They promote easy and quick happiness (just buy a thing, just propose in a really clichéd way in public) and they rarely challenge viewers to think, criticize or question. Alternative Daily writer Megan Winkler commented that “most series really love characters who are self-destructive in one sense or the other. That’s a bummer. I’d like to see people recycling aluminum and plastic the way some writers recycle the same tired tropes again and again.”

It makes you eat unhealthy food

People tend to snack on unhealthy food while watching television. A professor of health sociology, Steve Gortmaker, noted that the advertising also “tends to increase intake of a range of unhealthy food products.”

It creates a world for you

“I hate the fact that I am being fed something by some Hollywood producer that probably makes a ton of money off me sitting on my ass, mouth wide open. Create your own world, create your own adventure instead,” Carney adds. When people watch television, they aren’t being mindful of themselves and their surroundings. Instead, they are attached to the story, visuals and sounds of the screen in front of them, he points out.

It promotes a sedentary lifestyle

According to author Bonny Rockette-Wagner, research indicates that we move even less while watching TV compared with other sedentary activities, like sitting at work. People watching television may not stand up for several hours, but even standing up for a minute every 20 minutes can help your body regulate important substances such as glucose and the hormone insulin.

It causes unrealistic expectations in relationships (and in most aspects of life)

The way television shows portray emergency rooms, police, romances, friendships and even weight-loss is unrealistic and can lead people to have false expectations in their own lives. “The more you believe in popular portrayals of romance on television, the less committed you may be to your real relationship,” the Huffington Post noted, based on research from the journal Mass Communication and Society.

It literally makes you dumber

People who watch more than three hours of TV per day over a period of 25 years were found to be more likely to perform poorly on various cognitive tests, researchers of another study found. Further, children under the age of two who watch television are likely to have decreased language development, according to David Hill, chairman of the American Academy of Pediatrics Council on Communications and Media. 

It promotes stereotypes and discrimination

From dating shows that objectify women to news shows with almost exclusively white male news anchors or young while blond female ones, to law and order shows where the criminals are destructive stereotypes of Latino and black criminals, television tends to reinforce racial and gender stereotypes, give voice to those who already have a disproportionate say in the world and ignore poverty and the working class altogether, instead of promoting human diversity. Even outside of the United States, American programming can dominate airtime, leaving little space for local identity, culture and issues.

It’s isolating

A few hours watching a movie with a partner or friends can be really nice, and even a bit of alone time with one’s favorite characters can be relaxing. But binge-watching can be a harmful addiction, an avoidance and distraction technique that is socially isolating.

There isn’t a lot of choice

There may be a lot of channels to choose from, but apart from the occasional good documentary or engaging historical drama, most of what airs on television is low quality, under-researched, badly written rubbish, leaving viewers with a false choice of many slightly varied types of crap.

It leaves you with less time for life

Everyone at The Alternative Daily agreed that too much television is a waste of time. A writer for The New York Times wrote in 1939, “TV will never be a serious competitor for radio because people must sit and keep their eyes glued on a screen; the average American family hasn’t time for it.”

How wrong they were! And I have to admit, I don’t understand how people who work one to two full-time jobs manage to squeeze in that average five hours a day of television. But they do, and while it makes sense that people who are exhausted find television an easier leisure activity than a trip to the park or cooking, moderation is key. Most of those five hours a day could be spent doing something much more rewarding, useful or truly relaxing.

It’s expensive

Americans spend more than $6 billion per year just paying for the electricity alone to power their television sets, according to Becoming Minimalist. And around $73 billion is spent on advertising every year in the United States. That’s more than the whole economies of many countries, just spent on manipulating people into buying stuff they don’t need and often things that objectively are bad for them.

It sets the bar low for who we look up to

Rather than admiring teachers, firefighters or other people dedicating their lives to helping others and to justice, a lot of people look up to the actors and actresses on television — the “celeb” culture. Idolizing these overpaid people for the most superficial reasons (who really knows them?) can be harmful to one’s self-esteem, with teenage girls in particular aiming to look like someone whose hair was professionally styled every 30 minutes.

We all need down time, time to relax and recharge and to process our day and our troubles. But you’re not processing much when you watch television, and there are lots of alternatives, such as a walk in the park, listening to or playing music, having a daydream (something that’s actually very creative), dancing, taking a bath or shower, getting a massage or having a cuddle, reading a book, taking part in a sport, walking a pet, having a chat over a hot chocolate and simple playing (yep, adults should do it too — it promotes curiosity). Mucking around with your photos, doing some craft or adult coloring, even finger-painting can be both good for your mind and relaxing.

—Tamara Pearson